Eternity
by Kryo de Jamir
Summary: Pre-movies. "-'An act of self pity, a mental and emotional breakdown, for him? A joke.'-Or how you can discuss about your existence after losing a part of your nature."


**Title:** _Eternity._

 **Characters:** _Milori. Dewey. Snowflake._

 **Genre:** _Drama/Hurt/Comfort._

 **Rated:** _T._

 **Words:** _1024 words._

 **Pages:** _6 pages._

 **Summary:** _ **Pre-movies.**_ _"-'An act of self pity, a mental and emotional breakdown, for him? A joke.'-Or how you can discuss about your existence after losing a part of your nature."_

 **N/A:** _I've just started to think about this a lot, I just wanted to try writting in English to practice. Be patient and comprensive with my English please._

 _The fic has no really context, it is just an analysis? A discussion? Well… It is just Milori feeling self pity after breaking his wing._

 _Oh man… This fandom is SO dead._

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 **Eternity**

 _By_

 _Kryo de Jamir_

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If someone have asked him what he thought about his existence, their existence, he would have stayed spechless, not knowing what to answer. It was funny, how can you define the word **eternity**? How can you describe what is eternal? Have you, a mortal, even thought about what means the word eternity? When is something really that way?

 _It is just when remains like the moment of it's creation 'til the end of time…_ That was what he tried to tell himself, _Is that what means, right? When the thing in cuestion starts in a way and keep being like that… Forever?_ Always with a doubt tone, always not knowing with precision, _No… When something has or not a beginning, but not an end… Right?_

Funny…

Nothing really changes at all, right? – is what he said – Then why he, an eternal creature, did change? They all remain the same, they keep being the same way since they've born, perhaps that was the way the nature did decide to create his species: incapable to feel more than one emotion at time, incapable to grow old, incapable to change… But then, again, he was the difference: why he changed? Why **he**?

A fairy is not a fairy if can't fly, no mather what.

-Perhaps it has no explanation…-Tried to convince himself-Perhaps this is how being alive means and works –

 _But if that's how it works, why is you who changes?_

Spechless… Again.

The fairies could die, disappear, their light could turn off; but that was their nature since the beginning, that was normal and didn't really changed at all, so… It was something eternal?

 _The fairies can fly, you don't._

The fairies have wings, so he does.

 _They can use them, you don't._

The fairies have a talent, so he does.

 _You can die… You_ _ **will**_ _die._

Silence.

Finally he come to the conclusion after his self-confidence. The fairies are made to fly, and he? He didn't even wanted to look for a consecuence after his-

 _Say it, you have to start accepting what had happened to start to recovering, come on…_

An argument between the most rational part of his mind against his heart, that was the difficult part, he knew – deep in his mind – that there was nothing that could change the situation, no matter how much he wanted to deny everything that happened.

 _This is just an act of sel pity and you know it. Aren't you the lord of Winter? Aren't you the sparrowman everyone knows they can trust and fear at the same time? Aren't you the king of the ice and snow?_

Snowflake says that is self pity – even when she is waiting for him to recover –.

The keeper says that is a mental and emotional breakdown – even when he is waiting for him to get out of his room for a talk –.

 _A meeting, you mean._

-It is not self pity, and I don't need a meeting…-That was a lie-This is a joke… –

An irony…

He was not eternal, that was the true, real just like the fact that he was not fine, no matter how much he wanted to deny it.

 _Alright, you accepted it._

A knock in the door was heard again. The sound of voices, steps and the flutter outside did alert him the presence of more than just two fairies, his ears contracted at the moment he heard that noise.

He had been locked in his room – by himself – by a week now, usually just getting out when there was no one to see him; he didn't wanted to talk to anyone, he did thought he was fine… Or at last, he wanted to convince himself of that. He didn't wanted to hear his voice breaking in front of someone else, or start yelling at the pain of his muscles tensed; he wanted to be strong for first time, keep looking strong in front of everyone else, keep convincing himself that he _**was**_ strong, that he _**was**_ fine.

- _ **Lord Milori?**_ –

But he wasn't…

 _Do you need a meeting?_

- _ **Are you okay?**_ –

He didn't even wanted to look at himself in the mirror, because he knew he was a disaster. _No, I'm not_ … He wanted to say, but how?

 _Do you want help or not?_

-I want everything to be eternal…-He did whisper.

 _Do you want everything to be what used to be?_

-I could have not say it better… –

He one, his mind one. A tie.

 _You say that you are fine, you don't need – or want – to talk with someone about what happened, but here you are, talking to yourself, trying to look for an answer you will not find. You could do this with the keeper, you could trust him, but you did choose to stay alone, destroying yourself. If I'm with Snowflake, that means that you are with her: this is just a self pity act._

He one, his mind two. And his mind won… Or it was he who won?

- _ **Lord Milori?**_ –

- _ **I'm starting to worry, he's not answering**_ –

He did need a meeting.

 _And we have a winner!_

Passing his hands through his hair, he could not do anything else than take a deep breath. Eternal, stays the same, don't have an end; not like him. He was broken from the inside and don't wanted to trust in someone else to hold him and help him.

He was not eternal. He was not fine. He did need a meeting. He was broken… He did just started to cry without caring if someone outside his room could hear him. Funny… He was crying like a child. He was- he **is** going to die because that's exactly the way the fairies were made, he could not breath clear anymore, he coughed a lot, he did feel ill everytime, his light was weak.

He was not eternal.

- _ **Lord Milori?!**_ –

He did not move, just stayed in his place paralyzed, screaming and crying with sorrow. His argument with himself finally over leaving his room in a mortal silence. Alone, numb, freeze… He cried for help at his own way…

But nobody came.

 **The End**

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 **Notes:** _My personal headcanon is that Milori was young when he was named/designated (?) the lord of winter._

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 **N/A:** _Nothing to say, I liked how it turned at the end. I think I made clear why I did choose the word Eternity (?) I think so._

 _Well, thanks for read. If you liked it show love. Remember I don't speak English so, if you are reading this final note, thank you for being patient._

 _Bye, kisses, hope you are all well._

 _ **Leave a Review/Comment please.**_


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